Dreams

Sometimes I really wonder what does our dream tell us. Does it tell a story of your future or does it tell you the story of what your heart desire.

I had a dream of her last night once again and as always it is always us talking nicely as if she was once again mine. Although the settings are always different but the feeling is always the same.

I wonder why am I still having this kind of dreams after more than 3 years being apart, does my heart still desire her? When I am awake I know that i have gotten over her long ago but why these dreams?

Sometimes I really don't understand what my heart is thinking, thats why i am single till now and have a feeling till a very long time. Friends always say its impossible for me to be single and not get married but maybe they don't really understand how I feel.

Been a long time since a posted a blog here and although posting blogs are like talking to a wall but I feel much better, I don't know why.

p/s : Mandy if ur reading this, I think your the only 1 to read my blogs. hahaha~

Animal and Pets Club

After working hard for it for so long I am finally able to be proud to say that Animal and Pets Club is finally formed.
For those who didn't know about what I have been busy the past few month and what I have been sacrificing for, I have been busy with setting up the club. I have spend my lunch time, break time, sleeping time to meet people, write proposals and seeking advices.
I truly hope that the club can be of benefit to the animals and one day be the strongest and most meaningful club in Multimedia University history. With my inexperience and un-matured thinking I can only pray that this dream would come true.
on the 17th of July I had my 1st committee interview to pick some committee members to help establish the club's base. I personally think that it was a good pick of committee members as at the 1st meeting everyone was pumped up and willing to give out lots of great ideas. This actually gave me more confidence that the club has a chance to survive but at the same time let me feel I am least worthy of the position of a president.
24th July would be our 1st Annual General Meeting and I want the members to be able to bring their pets along with them to witness the 1st AGM of Animal and Pets Club. I didn't have much hope for it as the university authorities are not very cooperative with all this kind of things, but with the help of our secretary, vice secretary and committee member we were able to get an approval to bring pets into campus, even dogs are allowed. It was the best news ever gotten as we have already took our first step.
There are still a lot of challenges that awaits me and i truly hope that everything will remain smooth but even if it doesn't i am not afraid to face the challenge, and even if I fall facing challenges I know I have great committee members and friends supporting my back.

"Stressful" Week

It has been a stressful week for me as I had to handle the "relationship" problem and trying to study hard for long hours.
From Monday till Wednesday I have lab sessions for 3 different bio subjects which is very tiring and because I like to ask questions the tutor would ask me to seek the answer myself, which indirectly means I have to do the research myself.
After the 3 labs I have to pass up my maths tutorial questions which was very difficult and it seems like I couldn't find the time to do it but in the end I finished it. But after finishing 1 tutorial I still have 3 lab reports to pass up next week which till now I still haven't finish.
Thursday night some freshies and OC asked me out for a movie at 10pm while some OC had gathering at 7pm so I went to both. After reaching home at 5pm and relaxing for awhile I was out again. Went to the gathering and than met up with the freshies at 8.30, we left for the cinema at 9+ and watched our movie. After the movie we went for supper as usual and after supper someone suggested we go to the beach which in the end I got home at 4am in the morning.
Friday morning i had class at 8am and it was real difficult for me to concentrate, 9am class I wanted to guide the juniors in Biochem class but in the end couldn't use much of my brain. At night, some OC got free tickets to GSC new opening and they asked me along too. It was a nice night where I got to meet or should I say see MMU's TBT(whats the meaning I wont tell but they are cute). After the movie as usual went out for supper and I reached home at 3am.
After being stressed for 4 days and enjoying the 2 nights I think I'm ok now but lets not hope it last every week.

What To Do!?

My mind is totally in a mess now while my heart is not moving as usual.
During orientation I met a girl whom smile was totally pretty for me. We got to know each other more in the past week and got pretty close. We sms each other very frequently and talk on the phone once in awhile. In our conversation she flirts with me a lot and I always reply with a flirt too, to many it would seem that things are going smoothly for me and I would once again be attached but things are far more complicated than it seems.
A few days back she told me she already have a boyfriend but he is very far from her, Singapore to be exact, and they have too many fights which is making her tired. From this some may think that my chance has come but my personal thinking is that I would not want to break up someone's relationship or be the reason of the breakup. Even if they broke up and we got together it would most likely mean I would be the spare tire.
Just recently she had a fight with her boyfriend and she was really down, she wanted to meet up with me. She was feeling down and sad, her mind was spinning around too I think. I tried my best to care for her but should I even get myself involved in this matter? I think I have no say in it and should keep my ass out of it but why did I go and do something as to care for her? A good thing is that I couldn't meet her so things won't get more complicated.
It has been quite some time since I was involve in relationship matters but meeting something this complicated is a 1st for me. Even now I feel that I am just someone that is able to give her what she seeks from her boyfriend which indirectly means spare tire again. We actually agreed to keep our relationship as friends but than with the flirting in the messages or phone calls of care I think the relationship is kind of over the boundaries of friends.
How should I tell her that since she already has a boyfriend we should keep a distance and maintain as friends? How to tell that I feel like a spare tire and I don't want to be one? How should one not hurt her feelings when telling all this and not hurt the friendship? What should one do now?
The main reason I'm writing all this is to seek advise from the outside world but I doubt anyone would reply to it. Matters of the heart is too difficult for me to settle although my heart is kind of dead long time ago.

Past Few Months

Its been a long while since I've written in my blog which no one really reads, haha!
Let me start from April where I stopped. From April till end of May I was studying hard and trying to score for my final exam but in mids of the period i had some other activities like Wushu Club AGM and Annual Dinner, or even trying to set up a new club in campus which focuses on animals which i totally love.
End of May till 1st of June I had my break in Johor Bahru and had a boring holiday where my original room has been rented out to my mother's ex student which is now working and his girl friend. My brother totally hogged the laptop but I didn't want to snatch it from him or something just to use it so I didn't have internet connection the whole week. I went out with a few friends during the break in JB but it wasn't the usual people i would meet, time changes and people have to go away for their own personal things.
I came back to Melaka on 1st of June which was very boring. I moved into my new house and there was so many things to clean up. I took like 2 to 3 days just to clean up my mess at home and in my room. But in the end my room is still damn messy.
4th of June I had my 1st orientation gathering where I met lots of new people. It was late so we didn't have much time to gather.
5th June we had an OC camp which from there I got to knew better a few friends that was totally cool and supportive in some ways. haha! We went to Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh which is now known as Hutan Botanical Ayer Keroh to have some activities. Even though we had to move and sweat a lot in the day, we still had to have a meeting at night which was totally tiring.
6th June we had another day of OC camp but it was in campus. we had to go all over the campus again for some stage activity to gain experience about the orientation day and registration day. It was kind of fun but I actually couldn't remember how to sing permata dunia and ended up having to sing it the next day in front of everyone.
7th June is the last day of the OC camp and we have to get ourself prepared for the freshies to come. It was kind of sad as we had to split into our own groups. I was in Runner for the registration day which has to stand in some locations to guide freshies or parents to the location they needed and try to assist them in anyway you can. For orientation I got to be a Mobile for Green where I had to be this energetic senior to guide the freshies and make them love the university. I actually left out the motivation talks they STAD gave us but I think its ok.
8th June, The Big DAY has finally come. I was located at president square where I had to guide the freshies to their distinct location to register and get their ID. We all had to wear fully formal which includes neck tie. God was very kind to us and didn't gave us a hot hot sun to stand under. My location was for foundation and diploma students so I actually didn't get the chance to see any mature looking degree students.
9th - 12th June was orientation week for the freshies. By than us OC are actually quite close to each other. I was actually quite scare to face my group of 50 freshies which I had to handle alone but me being me it couldn't stop me from doing what I do the best, telling lame jokes. Orientation was one of the greatest time of my life as I met quite a few nice people and had fun with them through out the orientation. I tried my best to be a good senior as I can but it kind of bored the G2 members as they couldn't actually play games but only hear me talk about life in MMU, sorry guys & gals! In the mids of the orientation I actually met a junior which is taking the same major as I am which has the prettiest smile in the world but that is another story to tell in the future maybe. During the last night of orientation was orientation night which was suppose to be fun for the freshies but in the end I felt it wasn't worth it for the freshies as they didn't really had fun due to some factors I can't really say. After orientation night some of us went out to have supper at this mamak stall called Infasha, there was like 33 tables joined together and we chatted n played our hearts out till 3.00am. i actually slept at 4am that day.
13th June I actually went to a movie with some freshies and OC. We watched Kungfu Panda which was kind of cute and funny. It was great knowing this few crazy kids.
The rest of the days was nothing special although I went to other few places with housemates and friends but I think I'll just leave it out for now.

Sadness In Life

You know how life is so unpredictable at time and sometimes seem so unfair to people? I really feel sadden for your lost my friend, more than I thought i would be. It's been so long since I last cried but after reading your blog I couldn't help myself. I know you wouldn't want us to feel so for you but its hard to not be so.
You may not be muscular or athletic but you have shown great strength to me and I'm really proud to have you as my friend.
Sometimes I really wonder why do people have to be reminded of the target in life like I've just had been. It is really saddening that you promised to work hard and be strong but actually day by day you are slowly forgetting what you promised yourself to do.
Please do cherish the people beside you no matter friends or family or maybe strangers as there maybe a chance that you might lose them.
I hope I don't have to get reminded of these aim in life again. I want to add another target which is to be more mature in life and not let anyone down!
For all the friends who reads this I want to say I love you guys and cherish you guys a lot!

Die La~~

This time dun die also hard liao! Computer Programming assignment so difficult, don't know how to do, totally different from the assignment 1. Hope I can get a good partner for this assignment or not I will have to face it alone which I am confident will die till body also cannot find.
Ms Chong (my CP tutor which is very kind) will be my best friend for the whole month of April! If not I think I won't be able to survive this assignment, it is worse than being on survivor.
Anyone interested in playing with my CP assignment can feel free to contact me and I'll send the file to you. But give me some tips if you know how to do it. Haha~
Die lo Die lo~